...

 

It's almost Christmas...just two days away and honestly, I don't feel like being festive.  I am going through A LOT these past weeks and as much as I want to say I am okay, I just can't. 

 

How can one be okay when that one person whom you thought would stay with you no matter what just decided to drop everything that has got to do with you and just move on?  How can one be okay when you're told right in your face that he's in love with someone else and that he can't be with you anymore.  How can one be okay when despite everything you still want to hold on and fight for him, but he has given up already...given up on you and given up on the idea of you two being together.

 

We've been thru a hell lot.  Our relationship is far from being perfect. But despite that, we still find ourselves back together.  And I know we can still get through this, this time. But like what he said, things just happened. It was so fast it was like everything happened in a blink of an eye. And now, he wants to take a chance with someone else because he had enough of us.  I was hoping he would reconsider and think about our love for another...but what's to think about when his love for her is much greater than what he has for me.

 

It hurts...it really, really hurts. 

 

I am not posting this here to make people hate him.  He has gone thru a lot too...and yes maybe, for him it's really time to just let go.  He said he wants to heal from all I've put him through.  I do to...but as husband and wife, I know we can do this together.  But he doesn't want me in the picture anymore. 

 

It hurts so much I feel like dying.  Each day I find it harder to breathe and accept that the man I've been with for 22 years decided to finally let go. I wanted to keep him, and stay with him. But I know it's not what he wants. I love him so much that there's no other way but to let him go and let him pursue whatever it is or whoever that makes him happy right now.  I wish I'd be that one, but I am not.

 

If you took time to read this post, thank you very much. Please pray for us, that we'd be able to get through this.  Together or not, we both deserve to be happy.  But I'd be a hypocrite not to ask you to please pray that we'll still end up together. I love him so much...I am willing to put all of these behind and start a new. I know it's been too long already, but it's never too late.  I know it's not.  But maybe it is for him because he already lost his love for me.

 

I can't promise that I'd still be able to post on this blog.  I will try my best. For now, I just don't feel like doing so.  Things get harder for me everyday. I know I'll get through this, but it will take time. Besides, it's not every day that you get to lose someone you love so I hope you would understand.  And I know you would.

 

Sorry for spoiling your holidays with this post.  I just need to let this out.

 



Please like me on Facebook ( IambrigittePage ) and follow me on Twitter (_IAmBrigitte_) and Instagram (Iambrigitte)