If there's one occasion I am least excited about, it would be Father's Day. Simply because instead of greeting my dad, I'd be greeting my Mom and my Mama instead. And because, makiki-tatay na naman ako.
For those who don't know it yet, I grew up without a dad. Mom said he died even before I was born. But honestly, I still sometimes think she's lying! Haha. Love you, Mom!
I had a step-dad when I was in high school but he died of heart attack when my sis was only 6 months old. So me and my sister are both daddy-less since birth. Well, in her case, almost! But at least she still has pictures to remember him by. Me? Nadah. Mom said she was just too young that time and didn't care about keeping photos and whatnots. So all these years, I don't still have an idea of what my dad looked like. I only know so little about him, some kwentos from my titas and titos. They even say I sort of look like him, But aside from that, he really is a stranger to me.
Now, if you ask me…is it hard to grow up without a dad? Hmm, not really. Because, there are people in my life who portrayed the role of a father. First, there was my Lolo. I was the first grandchild you know, and I was the paboritong apo. He was really strict but I was one spoiled grandchild. I still remember him carrying me on his back whenever there's this flood in our street. And mind you, that was despite me being in in full rain gear: raincoat, boots and umbrella. But still, he just won't allow his favourite grandchild to set foot (technically, my boots) in the flood. I was spoiled, yes. But I was taught at a very young age how to do house chores. He said that a girl must know house chores and there should be no excuses. Geesh, writing this makes me miss my Lolo. But please Tatay (what I call my Lolo), don't visit me ha..or else, I'd die. (laughs)
Aside from my Lolo, there are also my Titos. I get to see them often since Mom and her siblings are all in the same province. Actually, they are just a tricycle ride away. Oh, except for my Tito who used to live somewhere South. Then there's also Dad, my Mom's bf. They have been together for what, 14 years? He has been a father to me and my sister for years. I call him Dad and despite not being blood-related, he has been a great dad for me and my sister. Let's also not forget my father-in-law! Me and X went steady way back in high school and I've known his family since then. There are certain things I've done in the past that I am not proud of, but like a good father, Daddy Roling accepted me and openly welcomed me as part of their family.
Of course, there's also my Mom. She has been both a mother and a father to me and my sister. She went thru a lot and sacrificed a lot. We all know it's not easy to be a single mom but she did it, fabulously! (laughs) I'm sure you've seen her in photos, she looks so damn young for her age, right!?
And last but not the least, my Mama Wheng. She took care of me since I was born and until now, I still feel guilty taking away her childhood because instead of playing, she had to take care of me. Until now, she takes care of all of us. She got my Lolo's amazing cooking skills and I always looking forward to her cooking. Whenever I'm home, I'll be like "Diet? What diet!?" (laughs)
So yes, there are a lot of people in my life who have been playing the role of a father. But to be honest, I still feel sad whenever I'd think of my father. And it can be hard, because, I don't even know how he looked like. I feel like a part of me has this huge question mark. Corny or emo as it may sounds, but I do feel that way at times. It's like, I don't know the whole of me. Saan ba talaga ako galing? Sino ba talaga tatay ko? (Geesh, emo talaga) Tao ba ako? Ugh. Okay, this should stop. (laughs)
Anyway, I've learned to be thankful despite the not so good things. Besides, I've been blessed with people who love me. And for that, I should stop thinking that I am lacking something and be thankful instead.
So kahit makiki-tatay na naman ako I am greeting all the Fathers out there and to all Moms that play both role a Happy Father's Day! (belated nga lang, pero bumati naman na ako sa IG at FB at Twitter kahapon..promise!)
^_^
I had a step-dad when I was in high school but he died of heart attack when my sis was only 6 months old. So me and my sister are both daddy-less since birth. Well, in her case, almost! But at least she still has pictures to remember him by. Me? Nadah. Mom said she was just too young that time and didn't care about keeping photos and whatnots. So all these years, I don't still have an idea of what my dad looked like. I only know so little about him, some kwentos from my titas and titos. They even say I sort of look like him, But aside from that, he really is a stranger to me.
Now, if you ask me…is it hard to grow up without a dad? Hmm, not really. Because, there are people in my life who portrayed the role of a father. First, there was my Lolo. I was the first grandchild you know, and I was the paboritong apo. He was really strict but I was one spoiled grandchild. I still remember him carrying me on his back whenever there's this flood in our street. And mind you, that was despite me being in in full rain gear: raincoat, boots and umbrella. But still, he just won't allow his favourite grandchild to set foot (technically, my boots) in the flood. I was spoiled, yes. But I was taught at a very young age how to do house chores. He said that a girl must know house chores and there should be no excuses. Geesh, writing this makes me miss my Lolo. But please Tatay (what I call my Lolo), don't visit me ha..or else, I'd die. (laughs)
Aside from my Lolo, there are also my Titos. I get to see them often since Mom and her siblings are all in the same province. Actually, they are just a tricycle ride away. Oh, except for my Tito who used to live somewhere South. Then there's also Dad, my Mom's bf. They have been together for what, 14 years? He has been a father to me and my sister for years. I call him Dad and despite not being blood-related, he has been a great dad for me and my sister. Let's also not forget my father-in-law! Me and X went steady way back in high school and I've known his family since then. There are certain things I've done in the past that I am not proud of, but like a good father, Daddy Roling accepted me and openly welcomed me as part of their family.
Of course, there's also my Mom. She has been both a mother and a father to me and my sister. She went thru a lot and sacrificed a lot. We all know it's not easy to be a single mom but she did it, fabulously! (laughs) I'm sure you've seen her in photos, she looks so damn young for her age, right!?
And last but not the least, my Mama Wheng. She took care of me since I was born and until now, I still feel guilty taking away her childhood because instead of playing, she had to take care of me. Until now, she takes care of all of us. She got my Lolo's amazing cooking skills and I always looking forward to her cooking. Whenever I'm home, I'll be like "Diet? What diet!?" (laughs)
So yes, there are a lot of people in my life who have been playing the role of a father. But to be honest, I still feel sad whenever I'd think of my father. And it can be hard, because, I don't even know how he looked like. I feel like a part of me has this huge question mark. Corny or emo as it may sounds, but I do feel that way at times. It's like, I don't know the whole of me. Saan ba talaga ako galing? Sino ba talaga tatay ko? (Geesh, emo talaga) Tao ba ako? Ugh. Okay, this should stop. (laughs)
Anyway, I've learned to be thankful despite the not so good things. Besides, I've been blessed with people who love me. And for that, I should stop thinking that I am lacking something and be thankful instead.
So kahit makiki-tatay na naman ako I am greeting all the Fathers out there and to all Moms that play both role a Happy Father's Day! (belated nga lang, pero bumati naman na ako sa IG at FB at Twitter kahapon..promise!)
^_^
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3 comments:
I hope you'll be able to see a picture of him to fill up the void. I kind of become emotional when talking about family, in general. Take Care! :)
thanks Juvy! :)
thanks Juvy! :)
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